I'm a single black mother that is raising a wonderful lil boy!!!
random entry NOT SURE!!!! - 11-16-08 FUCKING MIGRAINES!!! - 09-14-08 BIG BITCH!!! - 08-01-08 HOLY COW....HE'S SIX??!! - 07-26-08 THE BIRTH OF MY NEICE - 06-07-08
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Man if it's not one thing wrong with me, it's a-fucking-nother. I haven't had any problems lately with my asthma. That's all to the good. For this week so far, the tendanitis is not bothering me. But now it's something else. Something scaring the shit outta me. I know I need to stop thinking of the worst, but it's easier said than done.
About 3 weeks ago, I have been sweating like a mad man. I can just be sitting there and I'd break out into hot sweats. The only way I can cool off is if I go outside, sit under a fan, or just started fanning myself. I thought this was weird and maybe I'm menapausing. So I go to my Dr. and tell her the biz. She's like ok I don't think your menapausal cuz your sooooo young, but I'd like to make sure. So she did some blood work to rule out menapause and diabetes. Now at this point she is stumped. Then she told me the only thing else she could think of is maybe something wrong with my HEART! Uh-oh!!!! So then she's like is there anyone in your family with heart problems? I'm like yeah my father died of a heart attack when he was 39. My mom has an enlarged heart and my uncle & grandmother have congestive heart failure. Now at this point her mouth drops and I instantly started to get worrried. So she's like lets do an EKG to see how your heart is doing, it'll only take 10 minutes of your time. I'm like go ahead.
So then she does the EKG and comes back into the room. She's like the EKG came back abnormal, so now she wants me to do a stress test. So I should be getting a call from this place so I can make an appointment.
I really didn't let it bother me until I got home. After I left her office, all day from there on I kept thinking about my dad. Him dying so young was weird. So when I get home, I just got on the phone with my mom and completely FREAKED OUT!! I got to the point where I was like ok my dad died at 39, so does that leave me with 8 years to live? What am I going to do with my son, I don't want him to be a burden on you mom!!!! I mean I just really starting tripping until my mom snapped me back with, Kasandra CALM THE FUCK DOWN YOU SOUND LIKE YOUR PLANNING YOUR OWN FUNERAL!!!! At that point, I snapped outta it and apologized to her.
But I can say that it is still kinda scaring me. I have to hurry up and get this stress test done!!! And after this happens, I need my Dr. to help me get some of this weight off of me. I'm sure me being big is not helping my heart.
I JUST ASK THAT YOU KEEP ME IN YOUR PRAYERS BLOG FAM!! I will keep you updated.
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