I'm a single black mother that is raising a wonderful lil boy!!!
I was up this Sunday morning about 6am. I couldnít sleep because I woke up laying on my sonís play keys and play phone!!! I had called my sonís father last nite cuz I needed to get some things off my chest again about his non-fatherly duties. But he had company, which made me angrier. So when I couldnít go back to sleep, I called him and reminded him of what he was supposed to do last nite. And the fucking excuse I got was I wasnít feeling good, I was sick. You fucker you didnít seem sick when you were entertaining.
So anyways, my 1st question is how come you canít show my son half the respect you give your friends? And I just starting venting after this cuz I didnít get an answer. So Iím just going offÖIím like every time you come on your weekly visits, you always promise him that youíll be back (meaning the same nite), why do you always lie to him? My boy is not a baby neither is he stupid, so why do you treat him like he is? His responseÖ..I know damn well my son is not stupid Kasandra. But you sure treat him like that. Before you left that last time, my mother was on the phone and she even heard you say you were coming back. She even called me back that nite and asked where you were. And you do this every fucking time. And when you do this, whose gotta hear: ďIs daddy coming back?Ē ME!!!!
Then I went off some moreÖ.How come ever since heís been going to his new school(s), you donít know anything about what heís accomplished. Iím the one who goes to the PTA meetings. Iím the one they call when they need anything pertaining to my son. Do you know what heís accomplished???? His answerÖ..UM No. And whose fault is that? And when he sees the other kids getting ready to leave for the day, you know who he asks for? Me or my mother. They know exactly who heís talking about and why donít they know you?
Then after I finished venting he said well I know Iím the shittiest father in the world. Were you trying to get my sympathy? Cuz I already know that. I just said you said it I didnít. Then he had the nerve to ask me what I want him to do. By this time, I damn near blew a gasket. Iím like no one tells me how to be a mother, I just do it!!!
I was on fire by this time that all I could do was cry. Iím so sick of this shit. My son and I deserve better. He needs someone to give him that male guidance that I could never give and his father for that matter. I read the Goddessís blog and I pray every nite that God would bring me someone like her husband. Sometimes it scares me that my son is gonna get older. The only reason why Iím scared is because he might grow up to resent me because of how his dad treated him. I only say that because my brother was this way. I really feel that since his father wanted nothing to do with him, he became really mean and hateful. My mother tried to give him that void he was missing, but she couldnít. Sometimes my dad even tried, but it wasnít the same cuz it wasnít his dad. So when he got older, he hated my mom. He would call her every BITCH in the book. Tell her how much he hated her. Sometimes the fucker would come to her job and embarrass her in front of her boss, cussing her out and stuff!!!! And this really really hurt my mom. But she still cared about him. And to this day, heís never apologized for none of the shit heís done to her. I know my son is not my brother, but just watching how he came up, SCARES THE SHIT OUTTA ME!!!
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