I'm a single black mother that is raising a wonderful lil boy!!!
Dear old friend, how are you? Me? I'm good, just alot going on.
Alot has happened since we last talked. 2 years have went by and I'm sure alot has happened to you. I have so much to tell you. So much that I don't sometimes share with anyone but you. You were really the only person that I could go deep with. Somethings I don't even share in my diary, I would always share with you. I still don't understand why things went the way it did, I had no hate for you, I just couldn't believe how you changed in like in a matter of months and just decided to stay outta my life. But people change and things happen and you just learn to move on. But I want you to know that after all the pain of losing you as my friend and the frustration I let out, I still love you and I miss you. I know you can't seem to get over it, but that's fine I'm really not asking you to. I just wanted you to know how I feel. I know it took me 2 years, but it's better now than never. I was VERY VERY HURT by what happened but time made it heal.
Did I tell you that I've actually gotten over my son's father too? Yeah that took me the longest, but I have to admit I can't stand him. It took me 12 years to get him outta my system. It took me years to regain my confidence again after he crushed it. But day by day it gets better. And trust me he is paying for it everyday. He hasn't changed a bit from the last time you remembered and neither did his mother. You would think after losing her sister, she would realize the wrongs in her life, but nope she didn't. So nothing good is gonna come past her either. But oh well, her lost.
You know the deal with my sista to, nothing has changed with her either. She is having so much trouble with my neice it's not even funny. She refuses to take charge of her life, so everything that happens is her own fault.
Oh and I'm actually excited that I will be going back to school next Monday. I feel totally weird, but this is something in my life I had to finally do. My mom is the best at helping me with my son. She is gonna watch him while I go to school. It's only 2 nites a week so I'm sure I won't be overwelmed. Things seem to be coming together for me.
And no I'm not dating still. I see (insert name) once in awhile and we have fun, but I want more from him that he isn't ready for. So what do you do? You just move on and stop pressuring him. But it's really hard to put myself out there. Maybe I'll meet someone at school, only time will tell.
How's the kids doing? How's the hubby?
Maybe one day, I'll call you if I can get the courage to. I know you remember me as not being scared, but I am only because I don't know if you'd talk to me or just hang up!!! Or if you remember my number, I'd love to hear your voice again, no pressure!!! And I'm listed in the phone book (hint hint). And if we never speak again, hope everything is well.
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