I'm a single black mother that is raising a wonderful lil boy!!!
2005 IS OVER!!!! Man I'm soooo happy I can shit!!!
Happy New Year to you all. I know we all make the same resolutions over and over, but I'm gonna try my damnst to make mine happen. My first resolution is to make me happy first (besides my son), then everyone else. I have to realize that I can't make everyone happy. I have to say, OH WELL!!! In the past that was a big problem for me.
My second is to stop getting upset over little things. Look at the whole picture before I get upset. Somethings are bad, but it could be worse is the way I have to look at it.
My third resolution is to lose the weight. Since people get me upset easily, I tend to eat without being hungry. I tend to have alot of stomach problems too. No more of that shit. I want my body to look good and healthy. I'm gonna get my ass off the couch and try to exercise at least 3 times a week. I've done it before, but just to get upset at things and pack back on the pounds. When I was exercising, I felt better about things. I didn't have headaches and my mine was clearer.
My fourth is to finally let the past go. I am a little upset at what happened to me last year. I had a best friend and she was like my sister. She was there to see my son born and everything. And just like sisters, we fight but just like sisters, we drop it. But for some reason she didn't drop it. But I'm telling you the reason why I'm mad is because she can't be a woman and say hey this is why I'm mad. No she goes off and just writes me out of her life!! Like I didn't mean shit to her. That's why I'm mad!!! But I assure you that time is what's gonna make me forget just like she did. And now that I can finally say what I feel, it's done. Even though I truly care for her (because I'm human), there can be no more. I'M DONE!!!
And also there is the case with my son's father. Just like I've been through the shit with my friend, I had to go through a long journey with my son's father too. I truly loved this man and did any and everything for this negro. But he couldn't be a man and stand on his own 2 feet. I was ALWAYS his crutch. But for 2006 that shit is gonna change (it already has). Whenever he feels like he wants to be a father, he comes around. And I assure you my friends, that shit has already changed. Him and his mother is not allowed to see him because they only come around when it's convenient for them. I know this is wrong to deny them of seeing him but it's also wrong to keep confusing my boy. One minute he has a father one minute he's crying cuz he don't. That shit is not gonna fly with me in 2006. I can honestly say that it won't be like that forever, but his father has to show me that he genuinely wants to be there. I don't know how he can prove it but maybe in the future, God will show me.
My fifth is to get right again with God. I truly believe in God but sometimes wondered why I wasn't getting my blessing when others (who surely didn't deserve it) did. I'm starting to just believe more and stop asking that because God has things in store, I just have to believe. Just like I have to believe that he will find a man to marry. People have told me to quit looking and then he will come. I have to say that I've truly stopped looking.
Well now that you've listened to me carry on, I hope you all carry through with your 2006 resolutions. And don't let it be something that you have to start at the beginning of the year, start them anytime.
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