I'm a single black mother that is raising a wonderful lil boy!!!
Today I am so torn about what I want to do. I really want to start over. I think I really need a change in my life but don't know where to turn to because I don't really have anyone to turn to about the whole thing to look at it in perspective. Sometimes you need that person to say hey you have to look at this and look at that. What exactly do I need to consider is what I want to do.
I've brought it to a few people and here is what they have said.
1.) I pitched this with my mom the first time I was thinking about it. I just said hey what if I was to move to Minnesota, what do you think....She was like she didn't care, it was basically my call. All she knows is that she's not taking her black ass nowhere!!! Not real motivating I know.
2.)I pitched it to my girlfriend and she said just be leery of family cuz they can be iffy too!! I know she was just giving me the what if speech.
3.) I pitched it to my diaryland buddies and this is the comment I got.....WOW. Moving back to MN. All I can say is, are you CRAZY. I'm trying
to get out of here. I've been here way to long, so I hope you like it
more than I did. Good Luck and enjoy your trip. Is Minnesota that bad???? *sighs* Still no help.
4.) This one was my son's father(what a waste of time that was) and this is what he said.....I'm tired of Illinois myself. If you wanna, do what feels right to you. No he seemed not to care that I was taking his son away, he doesn't help raise him anyway, so what would it matter if he was 4 blocks away rather than 450 miles away?
If it was just me, I would do it. And I know I'm just making another excuse not to do it, but hell I have a small child's future to think about.
Then I get interesting news that my uncle was back in the hospital again for another mild heart attack!!! So he may or may not be able to watch my son next week. LIFE FUCKING SUCKS FOR ME!! But the best thing about it, I'm not worried. I didn't break down and cry like I usually do, I just have to make alternatives (I don't know what they are but I'm thinking very fast) to make sure he is ok while I'm at work.
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