I'm a single black mother that is raising a wonderful lil boy!!!
Ok so what I tried to say before all my shit got deleted.
You know that I'm trying to break my son away from sleeping with me. Since he was a baby, I've put him in the bed with me. At first I had him in a crib, but my mom suggested that he sleep with me because she was so paranoid about Sudden Crib Death. I didn't know anything about raising a kid, so I did what she said. Well over the years, it hasn't bothered me cuz he is my baby. But now that he is 4, he sleeps crazy as hell. Now he has he own room and a bed. My play sis gave him a toddler bed that suits him just fine. Well she doesn't agree. She feels he should still sleep with me until he gets ready to break away. She really thinks that what I'm trying to accomplish is wrong. She saying that the bed is uncomfortable and he's uncomfortable. How do you know? Now why on earth would I do something like that to my child? It's a toddler bed that's just right for him. So she's upset that now that I have a new bedroom set, that I wanna kick him to the curb. If I could buy a new one for him, I'd do it. But I'm a single mother and my set isn't fully paid for either. I want him to break away from the tit. I feel it's time cuz he's too attached to me.
She's makes me feel like what I'm doing is morally wrong. She always telling me that I'm a good mother, but when I'm not doing what she thinks is right, she makes me feel like the worst mother of all. Like if I feel I need a break from him, she makes me feel horrible. Yes I have to admit that sometimes my son annoys the shit outta me. I don't really do nothing without him being right there. And yes sometimes I need a break. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THAT? I do remember her going out all the time and leaving us with our grandmother. I do remember her putting us through the ringer with my dad. All they did was drink and fight. I can remember her getting her ass kicked in front of us and then she running to my grandmother. Then we'd be over there for a week or so until my dad called and apologized and even went to try and dry out. Well after she'd see all this, we'd come back to the same ol shit. This kept happening until my father finally had a heart attack and died. I'm not trying to fault my mom on how she raised us, but just give me a break with mine. I haven't exposed my son to no shit like that and I don't plan on it. But you were the mother and you did what you thought was best. So that's what I'm doing for my son.
People keep telling me that there is nothing wrong with what I'm doing. What if I meet the right one and I don't break my son? Then he'd be right in the middle of us. How romantic is that? These people keep telling me also that she is just trying to raise your son the way that she didn't raise you. Well I'm sorry, she had her chance and she did what she had to do and now it's my turn. BACK OFF!!! I love my mom to death and I listen to her opinions, but in the end, I'm the one who makes the decision to what to do and what not to do to my son.
Ok so then on Wednesday I had to go to my son's school. It was a mandatory parent meeting and I had to go to make sure that he starts on Monday. So my babysitter's daughter has a daughter that is the same age as my son and she wants her to go also. So were up there and blah, blah, blah. So afterwards, we headed to church for prayer meeting. While I'm driving she tells me that she is going to get her driving license on Saturday. I asked her did she have any practice and she said no not since high school. So I offered for her to drive my car the rest of the way to church. So she gets behind the wheel and she was a lil rusty but no big deal. But then she scared the bejesus outta me when we got to the parking lot. I told her she could practice some more but we'd do it in a big empty place like a empty parking lot. So I'm talking to my sis and I tell her what happened like in a joking way.
On Friday me and the babysitter went to Wal-Mart. My phone rings and it's my mom. She's telling me that I'm a big fool for letting a 19 year old getting behind my wheel. Telling me that if something happens to my car, the insurance won't pay for it. Screaming at me like I'm 5!!1 I'm like WHOOOAAA!!! First of all, I paid for this car. I can let whomever I want drive my car. And don't you think that that I have better judgement as to who I let drive? So then she says that don't call her when something happens to my car and hangs up. What ever!!!! It didn't faze me.
So then when we are on our way home, she calls again. I'm like what do you want???? She goes off again and I'm telling her the same thing. We're going back and forth. Then she says the dumbest thing ever. She says well you got mad at your uncle when he borrowed your car. WTF!!!
Ok let's rewind here. Before I got acqainted with my babysitter, I didn't have anyone to watch my son and to take him to school for me. My play sis was taking him and I was picking him up and taking him over my grandmother's where my uncle watched him until I got off of work. My play sis all of a sudden didn't want to do it no more, so then I was stuck cuz I didn't have anyone with reliable transportation to take him. So I picked my uncle up every morning and he would drop me off and take my car and take and pick my son up from school. This went on fine until one day he came and picked my up from work one day. I had to get my nails done so he dropped me off and I told him to come back in like an hour. So he comes back with my son and my son was acting a lil funny. I'm like what's wrong with him. He's like he had too much beer. I'm like where was yall at cuz you were late picking me up. He told me he was on Such and Such street, which is street where he does crack on!!!! What!!!! You took my son over there and then you get him drunk!!! Awe man was I steaming!!!! I called my mom in a rage and she said don't go off on him cuz I won't have anyone to take him back and forth to school. So this is why I was on the war path to find a babysitter and I found her.
Now back to my mom. I told her don't you ever compare the 19 year old girl to a crack headed man. The situations were totally different. This girl is trying to get her life together and do for her kids. She's trying to get her license so that she can go to work. I actually applaud her for that. At 19, I was too busy having fun. But anyway she says this and now I'm pissed and I hang up on my mom!! So my babysitter hears all this and I'm crying and she tells me don't worry about it. She thanked me for trying to help but said she didn't want to come between my family. So she would find another way for her to get practice.
I'm not upset about my mom expressing her opinion. She wouldn't be my mother if she didn't. What I'm upset about is the comment about my uncle. That pissed me off to no end.
I was talking to my babysitter about it and I told her that I think this is the reason why I don't have a lot of friends cuz my family is always judging EVERYTHING I do. But she said this is what makes your TRUE freinds stand out. Cuz she is not that type of person to do that and I think that conversation made us closer.
Even though my mother called and apologized (which is going down in history cuz she just doesn't do that) for her comments, I know it's not the last time she'll express her opinions.
So my friends this is what I've been holding in and needed to vent about.
But now that it's out and over with, I feel a lil better.
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