I'm a single black mother that is raising a wonderful lil boy!!!
Well I talked to the lawyer that my mom's friend gave. Well actually the receptionist. I was very nervous and stuttered thru the whole conversation. She asked me was I sure that I wanted to do this and I said yeah (with hesitation). So then she asked me would I rather make an appointment to have a phone consultation with the lawyer or just make an appointment to do it. I said I have a ton of questions so maybe the best thing is for me to talk to him and ask questions. He'll be in on Monday (from vacation), so he'll call me then.
But the really sad part of this is that I feel soooo guilty about doing this. I thought that I could get thru this once my car was paid off. But seems that now it's paid off, my money situation has gotten worse. I was talking to my babysitter and she said this isn't the time to feel guilty, it's a time to wipe the slate clean and start over. It should be a learning experience to never get myself in this situation again. I know!!! I've learned my lesson. I don't see myself doing it again, but I just don't know why I feel so bad.
So to change the subject cuz I'm making myself more depressed *sigh*....
This guy came into the City today and everybody saw him totally checking me out. He was ok, but not too much my type. He had dreads and a beard and I'm into bald or clean cut men. I totally wasn't giving him the time of day. I know today I was not looking the hottest today and I was STILL getting eyeballed!!! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WIT ME!!!
I'm sitting here talking to "Booty Call" and I'm giving him 1 or 2 word answers. I'm tired of making an effort with these men today. All they want is sex. They come out and say "Oh I totally wanna settle down and the whole 9 yards". But then you go out with them and it ain't even like that cuz they tryna get inside the panties. I don't get it.
Now he's trying to probe me and ask me what's wrong. I told him I don't wanna talk about it. Then he's cracking corny jokes and I'm like it's not funny. Now he's trying to find out if I'm dating...again no. Now he's tryna find out if my needs are "getting met". I just rolled my eyes. Still trying to ask!!!! What are you doing tonite. Ummmmmm chilling wit my son. What are you doing Thursday......UMMMMMMM Chilling wit my son. Why did I fucking respond to his IM???? I don't feel like being bothered with him...actually I don't feel like being bothered with anyone right now. I'm not in the MOOD!!!
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