I'm a single black mother that is raising a wonderful lil boy!!!
random entry NOT SURE!!!! - 11-16-08 FUCKING MIGRAINES!!! - 09-14-08 BIG BITCH!!! - 08-01-08 HOLY COW....HE'S SIX??!! - 07-26-08 THE BIRTH OF MY NEICE - 06-07-08
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Well I guess my birthday buzz is over. I have to say that it was a nice birthday for this single gal. And being 30 is ok. At first I wasn't ready to be 30 because I didn't achieve all my personal goals. But I have to say to myself, I didn't achieve them all, but I achieved some, and some is better than none!!!!
As I'm stepping into a new decade of my life, I think I've matured more. I am more different at 30 than I was at 20. Some people get older, but don't mature with age, I think I did. Alot of things that I didn't care about at 20, I care at 30.
I think my son has a lot to do with my maturing. Before he was here, I have to admit I was selfish and conceided. But when it is just you and you don't have to answer to anyone, you kinda do things your way cuz your invincible. I had my own place, my own car, and I didn't have to answer to no nigga. So I thought I was on top of the world. But when my son was born, that all kinda changed. I had to give in to his every need and I had to make sacrifices just to see him happy. He has taught me alot. But I know I'm still learning how to be patient. For me, everything has to happen when I snap my finger, and now I'm realizing it don't work like that anymore. God I sound like a parent!!! If you knew me 10 years ago, you too would say, I've matured.
But enough about the sappy stuff, like I said I still have some more maturing to go. Even though I'm single(and hating it), I have to stop giving in to temptations. Even though I love sex, I have stop giving in just becuase I'm horny. Even though me and the "booty call" put down some work, I personally don't think me and him will ever go anywhere but just sex. I've grown to accept it, but in the mean time, I can't say no to him. Maybe it's because when I'm around him, he treats me like a woman and makes me feel like I'm the sexiest woman alive. I totally go outta my way for him. I make sure I am perfect around him. From my hair, to my make-up, to my clothes he likes it and he loves to compliment me. But one day I will finally wake up and say, "I just want more than your dick, I want all of you. And if I can't have all of you, I don't want you." LORD GIVE ME STRENGTH!!
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